![]() I ate a tin can once, but man, that was a crazy time, baby! I’m living the American dream!” That’s wacky, baby! Awesome with a capital A! I hear mountain goats eat tin cans. “Look at those mountain goats! They’re doing some jumping-watch them catch that air. ![]() OH SNAP check out that marmot-he pimpin’! He bangin’ that nasty ass slutty marmot! Ooooh, she nasty! Damn she like them nasty bitches on my TV show so check me out and you’ll see women and me wearin’ clocks! YEAH BOYYYY!!!! MARMOTS!!” “YEAH BOY! Flaaaaaaaavor Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaav!!! Yo check out these fly ass marmots. “What do you mean they can’t see it? Narrating over video? Are you f-cking serious? I oiled up my muscles for four hours before this for nothing?” ![]() “See, it gives you support in all the right places!” Seriously though folks, caribou are great, but here’s a little something for our larger-chested friends in the audience-the carry-boob!” They are also capable of swimming across great distances during their migrations. They can weigh over 600 pounds, and eat mainly lichens and the leaves of willows and birches. “Here we see a caribou running majestically through the forest. “Look at those mountain goats jumping! That’s wacky, baby! Awesome with a capital A!” Anyway, depending on what the betting line looks like, I’d probably put a few thousand on him.” In nature, this comes from the hardship of being unsure when his next meal is coming, but I’ve found that you can much more easily replicate it by shocking his balls every few hours for a couple of days. If you look closely, you’ll notice that the little one has the glint of pure hatred and rage in his eyes. What most people don’t realize, though, is that size isn’t everything. Obviously the current alpha male is larger and more experienced, so it seems he has the advantage. “Here we have two Eastern Timber Wolves vying for superiority of their pack. ![]() In addition, being a lowly internet humorist for PIC, I will do it in list format. I, being a lowly internet humorist, would like to offer you a little insight into why these people weren’t chosen. What you don’t know is that she was chosen after literally a few other people were interviewed. Anyway, I think we can also agree that Sigourney Weaver is a shitty narrator. I say this because even my dad’s seen it, so if you haven’t, you must be living in a cave and all those other generic insults tossed at people who’ve missed a cultural phenomenon. ![]()
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